{Hormonal} Dream State

{A poem about the weird tricks pregnancy plays on your brain when sleeping}

And if I could only show you
The vividness of what’s in my head
The moment I lay myself down to rest
Each night when we get into bed
They say it’s due to the hormones
They say it’s a common effect
I only hope, to god, if you will
That this assumption is wholly correct
Because otherwise why am I dreaming
(Though dream makes it sound far too soft)
Of a place in which we are stranded, my love
Where I sit back and watch you ‘cop off’
In said dream you were casually standing,
In a room you’d moved to, out of mine
Telling me that I had let myself go
And what had I done with my pride?
I looked down at my large swollen belly
And I thought ‘but you did this to me’
Next thing I knew I was sat underground
Recording songs as you moved on swiftly
And then there was one, we were shopping
I remember feeling quite sickened, in fact
Needing to sponge my mind of the horror
Of you turning into the cat
And I know that may not sound so awful
But it will when your memory’s refreshed
See, we were upstairs in a charity shop
On a sofa, and we’d just had sex
Not to mention the nuclear bunnies
In a targeted terror attack
The time Ade Edmondson and good pal Rik Mayall
Quarantined me and didn't come back
There’ve been clones and bribes and such weirdness
A Black Mirror state in my head
The grossest I think being last night’s affair
When I cracked raw eggs onto our bed
So as I said I hope they’re not joking
When they say this is normal for now
For these rampant hormones are frying my brain
And I don’t think it should be allowed.

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