{Whimsical haikus for men I have dated. (And some that I haven't.) Inspired by Caroline Cala}

Banged your teeth on mine
By the goalpost, after school
(First kisses can be hard)

Fickle musician -
We were 'too young' to commit.
Well, you were, at least

The sound of your voice
Didn’t feel like home. Instead,
It drove me insane

In the end our tastes
Proved too incompatible
(In that we both fancied men)

Earnest, you told me:
‘I want you with all of me.’
But you changed your mind

Thought it was kismet -
Instead, coincidence. (An
Unfortunate one)

Stole food from my plate
After ordering for me
Date two? … No thank you

Found me on Facebook
But I only gave my first name
How did you do that?

I have to ask you…
Is anger your love language?
Because mine is not.

Bonded well online
Not so much in person, though
Shame how that happens

You were cute enough -
I liked your Star Wars jumper
But, there was no spark

‘I still love my ex’ -
The strangest chat up line
With which I've been met

‘That is a brave choice’
You commented on my haircut
Really? A fringe? Brave?

Drunken, you text me
A sexy photo. Weird, since
I was with your friend

Italian vet
You ‘didn’t like english girls’
Slightly awkward, no?

The last ‘frog’ I kissed
Turned into a prince. Reader,
I totes married him ♡


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