#HaikusForFormerLovers

{Whimsical haikus for men I have dated. (And some that I haven't.) Inspired by Caroline Cala}

Banged your teeth on mine By the goalpost, after school (First kisses can be hard)
Fickle musician -
We were 'too young' to commit.
Well, you were, at least

The sound of your voice Didn’t fe…

Additional Weight

{A poem}

My stomach
Is heavy
Almost as though
Someone is living
Inside of it
Treating it like
'A bloody hotel.'

Breastfeeding Class

{A poem in which I momentarily feel sorry for myself after breastfeeding class} 

‘What are the benefits of breastfeeding?’
Our irish teacher asked
Laughing at dad’s lack of involvement
In baby’s primary nourishment plans
‘Can we all list the benefits of breastfeeding?’
She handed out the pens…

Waddle

{A poem}

Ducks waddle
Geese waddle
Chunky Pekingese waddle
Penguins waddle
Big pigs waddle
Now, so do I.*

*{And so does our oldest cat, but let's not shame her for no reason here ðŸ˜‰}

But First, Let Me Take A S(h)elfie

{A story about my unborn baby's stubborn streak... Takes after his mother ;)}

Something I’ve been looking forward to - ever since my cousin’s wife posted pictures of herself doing so with her own, which was a while ago now - is using my bump as a shelf. It’s one of those things, I have to say, …

{Hormonal} Dream State

{A poem about the weird tricks pregnancy plays on your brain when sleeping}

And if I could only show you
The vividness of what’s in my head
The moment I lay myself down to rest
Each night when we get into bed
They say it’s due to the hormones
They say it’s a common effect
I only hope, to god, if y…

On Not Really Wanting It All

{A brain dump regarding the idea that women can have it all, and the judgment we get if we try to have it all, and the judgment we get if we don't try to have it all... and so on and so forth}

If there’s one thing feminism has taught me, it’s that women can have it all. I’ve had that message dr…
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